


the one where they drift apart

by keijiwrites



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Just angst, M/M, no happy ending, sorry my dudes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-17
Updated: 2020-02-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:08:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22764490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keijiwrites/pseuds/keijiwrites
Summary: Bokuto and Akaashi drift apart. Bokuto comes to realizations when they meet again.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Comments: 4
Kudos: 40





	the one where they drift apart

Thinking of how they were drifting apart wasn’t something Bokuto wanted to be thinking about. He didn’t want it to happen this way. Not so soon. It was only four months into university and he and Akaashi were already drifting apart. Their daily text messages were turning into weekly and even barely. Bokuto wasn’t sure what he was doing wrong. He was always making sure he had time for his best friend, making sure he always knew how Akaashi was handling his last year in high school and as captain. He didn’t know where he went wrong to have radio silence only mere months after they spent most of the summer break together. 

Months passed and the only update Bokuto got was that Akaashi was okay. He only knew this because Kuroo told him thanks to Kenma and Akaashi being in contact.  _ Constantly.  _ He wasn’t going to lie, it stung.  _ Bad.  _ He was set on managing by himself. Yes, he missed his best friend, but he had Kuroo and his teammates now. He never thought it would be possible, but he also had Kenma. It came as a surprise because the vice-captain was so mellow when not playing volleyball, even Bokuto himself thought he would be too much for him. (He wasn’t because Kenma now considered him a close friend. He did  _ not  _ cry.)

Thanks to Kenma, Bokuto would get updates on how Akaashi was doing. It was bittersweet, knowing Akaashi was handling himself well but not from the person of subject himself. Bokuto understood when he wasn’t needed or wanted, so he stopped trying to text and call. 

Whenever he was free and Fukurodani had a match, he would go and watch, but stayed in the audience, far from where it was possible to be spotted. He was glad to see the team was just as powerful as the year before. He was sure they would make it to nationals again. A funny, painful feeling would bloom in his chest whenever Akaashi would smile at the new ace. It was the same smile Akaashi gave Bokuto. 

He got a text from Konoha, telling him Fukurodani made it nationals for the second year in a row. Pride swelled in Bokuto’s chest when reading that and texted back that  _ of course _ they would make it again. They were the best team in Japan after all. He didn’t reply Konoha’s follow up text,chest hurting that Akaashi didn’t text him the great news. He was hurting, but he wouldn’t drag anyone along with him. 

Bokuto didn’t know what colleges/universities Akaashi dreamed of. That was, until he saw Akaashi in one of his gen ed classes. He was sitting up front, looking as apathetic as ever, but Bokuto knew those were calculating everything and everyone that walked in. Including Bokuto himself. 

He saw as Akaashi’s eyes widened just a fraction when they made eye contact. Bokuto was the first one to break it, looking at the floor as he made his way to the back of the class. He fished his phone out of his pocket and texted Kuroo.

_ To: Bro _

_ AKAASHI IS IN MY ALGEBRA CLASS _

_ From: Bro _

_ He’s WHAT?!?!?! _

_ Are you sure its him??? _

_ To: Bro _

_WE MADE EYE CONTACT KUROO ITS HIM IM FREAKING OUT WTF IS HE  
DOING HERE_

_ From: Bro _

_ The REAL question is this: did you fail algebra? _

Bokuto felt his ears go hot in embarrassment.

_ To: Bro _

_ MATH IS HARD OKAY? _

_ Shit prof is here text u later! _

He pocketed his phone, bringing out his textbook and notebook. He was going to take great notes and pass the class. It was syllabus week, but he knew Ai-sensei hated syllabus week and went straight to teaching. He almost fell asleep once but he made sure he didn’t. Not this semester.

When class was over, he bolted out of the room. He wasn’t going to chance into Akaashi. It would be too awkward and he didn’t even know what he would say. His phone vibrated in his pocket and he took it out. He swallowed the lump in his throat when he saw Akaashi’s name on his phone screen.

_ From: Akaashi _

_ Hello, Bokuto-san. I know this is a weird timing… _

Bokuto didn’t read the rest of the message. He was scared of opening it. He put his phone away and headed to his next class all the way across campus. On the way there, Bokuto thought it was unfair. Unfair how Akaashi never answered his texts or calls and now he was suddenly texting him, saying it was a weird timing.

“Weird timing my ass.” He grumbled as he entered the kinesiology building. He huffed all the way to his class, uncharacteristic scowl on his face. The people he crossed paths with were giving him weird looks but he didn’t care. He was too upset to even think of the look on his face. 

Once he sat down, Konoha - who had just transferred and told Bokuto they would be taking the class together - pointed out his face looked like it was permanently frozen in a scowl. Bokuto sighed, rubbing his forehead.

“I saw Akaashi in algebra earlier.”

“You saw  _ who _ ? No way, man.” Konoha’s tone was utter disbelief. “It had to be someone else.”

Bokuto handed Konoha his phone, message still unopened. 

Konoha let out a quiet ‘shit’ and handed Bokuto his phone back. “Are you planning on answering?”

“I. . . don’t know. We haven’t talked in so long, what am I supposed to say?  _ Sure, let’s meet up even if you broke my heart.  _ I don’t think I’m ready for that.” He puts his phone away, shaking his head. “It’s stupid. What are we even supposed to talk about?”

Konoha shrugged just as confused as Bokuto. “Won’t know until you do.”

Bokuto spent the entire class staring blankly at his notebook. His thoughts were flooded with the possibility of meeting up with Akaashi and what would happen. After class, Konoha silently handed Bokuto his notebook, Bokuto promising he’ll give it back. He went to his dorm, not having anymore classes for the rest of the day. He rested for a few hours, not really sure if he should open Akaashi’s message.

He did.

_ From Akaashi: _

_ Hello, Bokuto-san. I know this is a weird timing to be messaging you, but I was wondering if you would like to meet up some time. - Akaashi _

Bokuto locked his phone, scowl back on his face as he got dressed for practice. His serves and spikes were more powerful than was necessary. Everyone noticed but said nothing; they all knew about his mood swings. His serves were cut short when he heard the coach call for him. He jogged over and - oh.

_ Oh. _

Standing next to the coach was none other than Akaashi Keiji himself. Bokuto schooled his expression into a neutral one.

“I’m assuming you already know that your former high school teammate has joined the team.” 

“I did not, coach.” He turned to Akaashi. “Welcome to the team, Akaashi-kun. I look forward to working with you.” He gave a quick bow before turning to the coach.

“Thank you, Bokuto-san.”

“I want the two of you to pair up for the following week. I know you were national champions and I want to see how you work together up close.”

Bokuto knew his face would betray him so he answered a simple ‘yes, coach’ before turning back to the court. He didn’t have to look back to know Akaashi was following him, he felt his gaze on the back of his head.

Bokuto wasn’t expecting any of this to happen. He had expected his first day to go as smoothly as possible. He thought he wouldn’t have to see Akaashi again. He thought he would have time to heal his heart. 

He continued practicing his serves, each one more aggressive than the last. Practice was over, the coach making sure Bokuto wouldn’t stay too long after.

Before he realized it, the ball cart was empty and his muscles were aching. He crumpled to the floor, sweaty forehead pressed against it. His fists were clenched, body shaking with repressed sobs.

_ Why why why why?! Why did he have to come here of all universities? Why was he back now? _

The gym doors opening had his sit up so straight, his sexuality wavered for a split second. Of course it would be Akaashi who saw him in his crumpled state. Bokuto turned his head away, not saying a word.

He waited until Akaashi left to start cleaning up the gym. He knew it was time to rest before classes. A hot shower helped his tight muscles loosen up. His roommate wasn’t there when he arrived at the dorm. Good. He didn’t want to be questioned as to why his eyes were red and he was unusually quiet.

All he needed was a good night’s rest and he would be fine.

* * *

Bokuto wasn’t fine. He found it hard to sleep, constantly looking at Akaashi’s message one too many times. His roommate came in at midnight, Bokuto still awake. He was grateful he had the top bunk because he really didn’t want to talk. He admitted he was sulking, but he didn’t want to talk about it to anyone. He was ignoring Kuroo’s and Kenma’s messages. He didn’t want to be alone, but it was better than being questioned.

‘Feelings are stupid.’ He thought as he stared hard at the ceiling. He was frowning again. It was apparently his new norm. 

He hated the feeling of emptiness in his chest. Hated how seeing Akaashi made him feel. He clicked his tongue startling his roommate. He waved him off, saying he couldn’t fall asleep.

Bokuto saw the sun rise, grateful his classes started in the afternoon. A few hours of sleep was all he needed. 

His classes were a breeze that afternoon, thankfully it was only syllabus week and the only went over their objectives. Bokuto didn’t really come for any of that. He was wondering how he could go through practice. He started practice with Akaashi that day. He had to mentally prepare himself before entering the gym.

Practice hadn’t started yet, but almost everyone was there. They started warmups when the other members arrived. Bokuto noticed Akaashi was all the way in the back, almost as if he was trying to blend in. Bokuto felt bad. He wondered if it was his fault.

It was time for spiking drills and Bokuto was instructed to stay on Akaashi’s line. He was trying to squish the excitement he felt knowing he would be spiking Akaashi’s sets again. His turn was next, his body knew to move on instinct. The ball was in front of him; his palm stung with the force of the smack. The feeling of spiking the perfect toss after so long had him shaking and exclaiming  _ Hey, hey, hey _ hands fisted and up in the air in excitement. 

“Bokuto, hurry up!”

Bokuto jumped, smiling sheepishly as he went back to the end of the line. He was buzzing with energy for the remainder of practice, nailing every spike, serve, receive and block. At the end of practice, he was still buzzing. The energy coursing through his veins was one he hadn’t felt in a while. He wanted to keep practicing, but no one ever stayed with him. 

He was about to start with extra serves, when the gym doors opened. He swallowed, his mouth drier than a desert. Akaashi closed the doors behind himself, eyes set on Bokuto.

“We need to talk.” He walked towards Bokuto, who was frozen with ball in hand, eyes as wide as saucers.

“There’s nothing to talk about.” His mouth was working faster than his brain, Akaashi’s reaction telling him he wasn’t expecting that. “You needed space and I get it.”

“No, Bokuto-san, you don’t.” Akaashi’s voice was stern as he spoke. “I did need pace, but I never gave a reason and I never told you. I’m sorry I never explained myself. I felt you in the dark about everything.”

“Kenma kept me updated.”  _ I seriously need to shut up. _

“What?” Akaashi’s face was full of confusion.

Bokuto looked down at the ball in his hands. “Kenma kept me updated on everything. I didn’t ask him to! He just. . . knew how I was feeling, I guess.”

Quiet engulfed them, filling the air with an awkward tension Bokuto wanted to break. He didn’t know how to, but his immediate reaction was to let out a quiet laugh slip from his lips. It turned into a full belly laugh, tears streaming down his face. He wasn’t sure why, but they wouldn’t stop. He rubbed at his eyes with his shirt, trying to calm down.

“Bokuto-san?” Akaashi sounded apprehensive as he took a step closer.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He sniffed, laughter turning into chuckles. “I’m sorry. I just thought you hated me.”

Akaashi looked flabbergasted at the confession, eyes wide. “No, oh fuck. No, I could never.” He got closer, gingerly taking the ball from Bokuto’s hands. “I could never hate you. I just . . . needed to move on.”

“Move on?”

Akaashi’s eyes were cast on the ground, apples of his cheeks pink. “Yes. Move on.”

Bokuto felt confused. “What do you mean by  _ move on _ ? Like, friendship or . . . feelings wise?” His heart was beating erratically in his chest. Something inside of him was telling it was friendship wise, but the other part was telling it wasn’t that.

Akaashi let out a sigh that told Bokuto he wasn’t amused. “Feelings wise, Bokuto-san.”

“Oh.” Bokuto’s energy suddenly crashed, his heart ached for a reason he didn’t fully understand. “I’m sorry, ‘Kaashi. I didn’t know.”

“It’s okay, Bokuto-san. Like you said, you didn’t know.” His face told Bokuto he was hurting. 

“We should clean up.”

“Okay.” 

Bokuto was hoping for something - anything really - that would take away the awkwardness that was surrounding them. He was expecting extra tosses or serves, but neither happened that night. Once the net was down and the floor was swept, Bokuto locked the gym. He stared at the doors, shoulders slumped.

“Bokuto-san?”

He nearly jumped out of his skin, thinking Akaashi was already gone. “Y-yes?!” He turned, cheeks red in embarrassment. 

“Are. . . you okay?”

Bokuto’s world came crashing down that night the moment he set eyes on Akaashi. The moon was bright, creating an almost angelic halo around the setter. Bokuto thought he looked ethereal. It made his heart skip a beat.

“Yup! I’m okay!” His voice was high pitched as he spoke.

Akaashi looked at him dubiously and nodded. “Well, I’ll be taking my leave. Good night, Bokuto-san.”

Bokuto watched as Akaashi bowed and left. His heart was heavy in his chest and realization dawned on him.

_ I’m in love with him. _


End file.
